Thoughts...

(This is an old pic, Feb 2007ish, Travis took it so it was on the wrong setting thus being blurry)

Well few new things have happend. I feel so great dispite Ashton being sick. He is feeling better, my computer isn't acting up as much, Utah Jazz won last night and we might get tickets for tomorrow nights game, which would make me happy because I really wanted to see them, it was my goal this year.

In my birthmom support group we have a new girl who is pregnant and going to place, she was unsure until a week ago and she's due in like 2 weeks. She is having trouble getting herself together and I told her that I admire her for wanting more for her baby. All the other people she is around tells her that she doesn't love the baby if she's placing it for adoption. I think because she has so much to work on, its great and she must be somewhat level headed if she's thinking about her baby instead of herself when placing.

Yesterday in group, I was kinda quiet which is unusal knowing me :) I was just thinking of how Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways. I can't really give too much away because all we talk about is confidential, but I can really say that is what I have learned alot. I can say from my own testimonial experience with Christian and being out here in Utah.

I look at Christians' birthfather now and he's doing well for himself, but him adn I are still young. I couldn't imagine trying to make it work just for a baby. I've seen too many people try to do that and they became bitter.

I know I talk about this alot, but sometimes I think when there's an emotional rise with me (like I'm at group or watch a lifetime movie or something) I always get brought back to my situation and how much I'm loved and lucky I had things work out.

I'm so greatful to have an extended family through Matt and Molly. I call their neices and nephews my cousins and its great. I am able to have an example of what and how I want my family to form into. I get really excited to go to Family Home evenings and just feel the peace I do.

I think I'm pondering all of success and life alot more because I wish my dad could see me. It took Travis' mom and dad to come and visit for them to actually believe he was doing great. Maybe when we get a rent to own home or something in July we could save money to get my doubtful yet loving dad out here.

Through this hardship I think I have grown to be more mature and have an adult prespective on my obsticles. I look at life and anything I go through very differently now and I find it very amazing how different your point of view works if you try to be faithful to Heavenly Father.

Well, enough rambling for now...more later :)