EXTREMELY HYPERACTIVE AND HAPPY

THERE'S SO MUCH GOING ON!!!!! (This pic is Trav and Roudy 5-8 years ago)

First off, I entered Ashton is a photo contest so please vote by following this link http://www.greatamericanphotocontest.com/voter1/index_e.aspx?referid=strm_d1_photoapproval&referid=strm_d1_photoapproval&p=1325091&x=.JPG

Next, I have decided that I really like life now cause....ITS GOING TO BE IN THE 70'S in Salt Lake!!!! BUH BYE SNOW!

Today Ash and I are going to Aunt Linda's (Angie's unt in law) house in West Valley/ Taylorsville to go on an easter egg hunt. I'm so excited to be out and in the sun shine!!!

I also found out that my summer math and my summer writing class start at two eperate times. My online math is May 18-Aug 10

Writing class is June-Aug 10

Fall semester is Aug 25 rather...

Anyways....soooooooooo I made a new discovery....I break out in random song now lol. I never thought. I seem to be happy now lol. I'm not sure but some days are alot more hyperactive than others.

We took Roudy to the vet on....Thursday and he needs to lose weight (duh) so we are taking him out alot more (now that his nails are clipped and he has painkillers lol)

Travis and I talked with the guy we're renting our duplex from and we came up with a game plan in July we can move (our lease ends the 31st) and like a month and a hlaf before then we will go house shopping :) Travis said he'd like to move more south between Lehi-Salt Lake. I'm trying to convence him of Provo (Cause I like that area alot for some reason)

Anywho, I'm just so happy and moving forward in life and not looking back anymore. I think I have gotten over alot of the past issues I've had. I've talked with Mary-Anne from my birthmom support group and Molly of course and Holly. I have been praying about every choice I make.

The irony of all of this? We talked about making choices and their consequences on Thursday at Group.

Aly is also due in like 8 days now. She really wants me and her mom there with her when she hs the baby. I think she just wants the reassurence from me in knowing that placing is a good idea (her mom is upset about it still). I told her to give me a call, but I might have to be there after she has the baby (cause I have Ashton to bring...) and she's cool with it. I wish her the best of luck with all of this. It will def. be real life when she places with a family. I know she sits in gourp and we talk about it, etc, but it still doesn't prepare you for making teh hardest choice in your life.

I came to the conclusion that I'm okay with Christian. My heart loves her, but I don't think I'm hanging onto it as much as I used to. As Molly says, I'm not letting my teen pregnancy and placement of her "Define me" and she's right. Each day is getting much easier, I can feel it. I know if we watch Juno on Thursday during Group I def. will cry my eyes out for some reason I always cry for that movie, and also when I watched "Mom at 16".

There's a birthmom who is keeping her baby and motheirng it and she's only 16...she "knows" she won't be able to party anymore, etc. But I don't think until the baby is here and her boyfriend leaves her to party realiy won't set in yet...

Grandma Holly and Grandma Loxie ask if I'm fine with Christian and if I had to go back if I would do it again. I thought for a moment and I thought No. I would probably keep her, but I knew that was the negativity talking. I know with all of my heart I did place Christian to a great family, a family that I can call my own...and I have the biggest testimony of it...I think its because of that Testimony that I can look forward and hold my head high.

I know Ashton wasn't planned and it hurts when someone close to me said "Ashton was made out your life style, not love". I am doing the best of what I can now and with what I have. Remarks like that do hurt and used to bring me down alot, but now I'm starting to turn the other cheek and learn to do things through prayer and yes, even fasting.

I know this has been long, but I've had alot going on, alot on my mind, and it feels good to vent. I feel so confindent again and so alive like how I used to be. That's why I'm excited about life :)